Sarah Palin, You just lost a Republican Woman's Vote

At one point, not so long ago, I fancied myself a Sarah Palin style Republican candidate for National Office: Ultra-Conservative, pictures of me shooting semi-automatic weapons, a wife and mother, anti-abortion, etc. After listening to her speak last night, and observing the RNC, I can't imagine ever wanting to look like that. It wasn't specific words that turned me off, but her demeanor, her attitude, her audience, what I know she stands for/against. Oh, how far I've come. It makes me sad to remember the day I participated in the Young College Republicans at Florida State, selling baked goods at half-price to black students, and full price to white students (affirmative action). I'm ashamed that I was on the local news my freshman year touting my conservatism as I cast a ballot for GW, the first time. And even more ashamed I cheered him on in debates against John Kerry four years later. Those were my convictions, at least I was honest about what I thought I wanted from national leaders. Those were much simpler times, when I could just take what political leaders said at face value, align myself to their terms, and go blissfully about my self-righteous political science studies.

Maybe I'm a cynic, maybe I'm more educated, maybe I've just become more open-minded. The fact of the matter is, I'm tired of politics-as-usual. As the cameras scanned the cheering, "Raising McCain" sign-waving crowds to the sounds of pop-country music, I searched for a face like mine. I searched for someone who cares about the same things I do. Not a one.

Perhaps I'm a product of my environment. Denver isn't the bulwark of conservative activity it once was (http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/09/01/080901fa_fact_lizza). I know I easily adapt the attitudes and behaviors of those with whom I keep close company - I have an overwhelming desire to "fit-in." But I can't believe that my change of political leanings can be completely attributed to my parasitic nature. I DO have some original thoughts and opinions.

As I watched the DNC activity in my own backyard just over a week ago, I wasn't entirely impressed with that either. I was inspired by Obama's acceptance speech - as an MLK Jr. junky and just as susceptible to Populism as the next person, why wouldn't I be? It made me want to be a better member of society, work to improve the world around me, contribute to something bigger than myself. But I can't trust him, so I'm not comfortable throwing my vote behind him, yet. Perhaps I can be convinced to throw caution to the wind and support the pretty words and idealism that are so attractive in my youth. I have plenty of years to be an old political fuddy-duddy, maybe this is the time in my life when I can claim to be idealistic and politically hopeful.