Monday, March 17, 2008

Playing Nice

How nice is too nice? At what point does continuing to show kindness to a person who drives you mad just plain dishonest? I'm all for courtesy and even more for actually being kind and compassionate toward people. But I have come to believe that kindness is often mistaken for attraction, especially by men who rarely get female attention. A simple, "hi, how are you today?" accompanied by a smile somehow becomes, "I want you." I'm not a particularly flirty girl and I really try hard to be cautious and not misleading. I never want to be accused of being a tease - though some of my friends are starting to convince me that a little manipulation never hurt anyone. But what baffles me is that a guy can be completely oblivious to what I believe are obvious rebuffs of attention.

On the other hand, I can't seem to turn on the charm enough to get attention from someone I'm seeking out. Is that a hazard of just being genuinely friendly?

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Tiny Little Sparks

Every once in a while I have a realization that my face and body betray my true feelings. So much so that I wonder if I actually voiced the words I was thinking in my head without actually moving my lips. For example, I was riding the bus the other day, it was crowded but I was completely lost in my thoughts. Suddenly the guy sitting next to me turned his head quickly and gave me this surprised, puzzled look. I quickly ran through my memory to try and figure out if I had actually been speaking out loud. I smiled, blushed and returned my gaze to the passing street. Just today I was talking with this guy at work and I got the sense that my face was revealing too much because he just smiled at me, kind of strangely. When I realized I was blushing I got even more flushed.

Communication experts say that 70 percent of the meaning we convey in conversation is through body language; 20 percent is through tone of voice; and only 10 of meaning is expressed through actual words. It's interesting how much meaning is never communicated in media like e-mail or the internet. And it makes sense, the people who I believe know and understand me best are the people that see me everyday. They can read my reactions, my facial expressions, my posture and know what I am thinking without any exchange of words.

Perhaps then, it's not that strange that I often feel that my face and body reveal my true thoughts and feelings before I open my mouth to say a word.