4:13:12

I completed the Denver Marathon yesterday in a full 22 minutes less than my previous marathon, nearly a whole minute/mile faster. I was shooting for 4:00, but I am pleased with my performance. I ran hard and it was infinitely easier than the first one. I could hardly believe how quickly the miles passed. After the 18 mile point I just kept ticking them off. By 23 I was exhausted, my left hip and right knee began to ache with fatigue, but with less than 30 minutes left, I knew I couldn't stop. I walked about three minutes then pushed through.

Before the race, our head coach reminded us that the first 20 miles of a marathon are about discipline. Discipline to set and keep your pace, discipline to hydrate as planned, discipline to run as you've trained. The last six miles are about determination. It's running with your head, then running with your heart.

The head part was easy. Contrary to my normal approach to life, when it comes to running, I make a plan and stick to it. I have unwavering discipline in my training. I know the advantage. I know how important discipline and organization are to prevent injury and to improve. You can't approach endurance running with a "que sera, sera" attitude - you'll end up hurt and disappointed. So yesterday, I started the race with a hydration and fuel plan, knowing exactly where the aid stations were located on the course. I ran a majority of the course in my training, so I knew every hill, pothole, tree-lined road, steaming piece of asphalt, and landmark I would encounter during the race. I ate, drank, slept as planned the week before. I even handpicked and ordered the playlist on my Ipod, knowing exactly what I would feel like listening to at different points in the race. So the first 20 miles were calculated and comfortable.

The heart part is where it got hard. Once the aches and pains began to set in, I began to doubt that I would meet my goal time. I was only three minutes behind pace at the twenty mile point and just over five minutes behind a gun-time four hour race (a planned pit- stop at mile 16 set me back about six minutes when my headphones got tangled in my fuel belt straps - had been consistently :45 ahead of my pace until that point). That meant picking up the pace thirty seconds faster per mile. With this realization, my determination wilted. So I decided that a 4:10 finish would be acceptable. When I rounded the final, familiar hill, with half a mile left, my determination wilted a little more and I slowed to a jog. Then, I turned the corner, passing the capital building and caught sight of my mom. I picked up the pace, and ran with everything I had left across the finish line. I slowly limped through the runners' finish area, chewing a banana that had appeared in my hand, shaking.

The head and heart take such an opposite role in the rest of my life. I'm rather undisciplined, disorganized, and much less interested in strict rules and guidelines (I am a control freak, so I like OTHER people to follow the rules, but I want to be exempt). My determination has gotten me more than my discipline ever has. I often make decisions with my heart, how I FEEL about something, rarely relying on what I THINK about things. When things aren't going my way, I will them to work out. I keep pressing because I feel that it's right, even if I know there's no logical way for it to be right. So running has become something of a teacher for me. Though laying down rules and a plan for a four hour race is quite different than living daily life in the same fashion.

A couple hours after the race, I was sitting in an ice bath, chatting on the phone with my other marathoner friends, recounting the details. They're the only other people who really get it, and even some of them don't understand why I'm running another 26.2 mile race in just 7 weeks, and then another 9 weeks later.

Perhaps it's because I'm a little crazy. Maybe I like pain. But I can only think of a few things that make me feel better (or even close to as good) as finishing a marathon. It's a test, and I keep getting better. I learn something every time, and throughout the training. It's not just the race itself, it's the whole preparation process. Runs end, but running doesn't. It's also about pride/ego. I run because it makes me like who I am. People ask me if running so much is really very healthy. I can't think of anything better for me.