"Remedies" by Allison Lotterhos

One of the best things about living in Colorado is that I can spend really good time with my siblings. For the first time I think we all behave much more like friends than like family - I mean that in a good way. There's still that element of security because we're family, but we've lost that rivalry all siblings harbor among each other. We genuiunely care about each other, spend time together, understand each other in a way that non-family members never will, and occasionally we have the opportunity to celebrate each others' accomplishments.

Last week my sister, Allison, released her debut album, Remedies; her original compositions on the Hammer Dulcimer. My brother helped record and produce, as well as contributing musically. My mom accompanied her on the violin. It was somewhat of a family affair. My Dad and I simply get to enjoy the beautiful clamorings (sometimes just clamorings) of our musically gifted family members. After watching the project progress over the summer, I was thrilled to attend the "Release Party" last Wednesday night at Boulder coffee house, The Burnt Toast.

When Allison took to the microphone, positioning it just over the strings of her instrument, the place fell silent. Even the homeless guy with the pink wig, wool skirt (over his jeans), and down vest stopped muttering to himself as she started to play. She was incredible, hands flying over the strings, mallets precisely striking each note with crystal clarity. After each tune, the small crowd erupted in applause, begging for more.

For me, the show was about more than the music. It was about seeing my sister blossom. She is so talented, but has struggled to find her niche for years. Since transitioning from playing Tenors in the marching band to composing her own music on the Hammer Dulcimer and Piano, she has taken her natural ability to the next level. She's focused and determined in a way that only a serious artist concentrates on their craft. The confidence she's gained through developing this skill has seeped into other aspects of her life as well. We had brunch yesterday, just enjoyed each other's company over Omelettes at the Golden Buff, talking, like friends and like sisters. I couldn't help but admire how well-spoken, honest, collected, and confident she is. Unlike me, she has been willing to rebel against some of the more conventional (and perhaps unhealthy?) social expectations. I'm just now reaching conclusions at which she arrived years ago. That's the funny thing about family - we may have started off in the same nest, but we are certainly ending up in different directions. She's at a really good place in her life. I'm really proud of her.

I'm taking a cue from her and seeking out the things that make me happy, make me shine, motivate me, regardless of how I think it may be perceived by others. I've wasted too much time being concerned about building and maintaining an image. While I understand that some of that is necessary in what I want to do with my life, but at what price? Sacrificing my freedom to discover who I was created to be? In the midst of trying to be who I thought I SHOULD be, who I thought other people thought I should be, I haven't always been honest. So now I struggle with the problem of aligning who I impressed myself to be, and who I really am. On this point, I envy my sister, because, in all our mistakes, she has refused to be anyone but her true self.

When I asked her about the title of her debut album, "Remedies," she replied,
"It's just like it sounds, these songs are remedies for me." I guess we each find our own therapy, our own salves for our own aches and pains. My remedies will not look like my sister's, nor should they; but I will certainly enjoy hers in the meantime, I know I won't be the only one!