I like my Drinks like I like my Men. . .

Tall and Strong.

I was looking at an old online profile I set up for something I never use. In the section that asked what my favorite drink is I responded with the line above. I laughed at what my previous version had written, because it was something I never would have said out loud, except my closest friends, and in jest - I was too afraid to admit that I liked men (a lot) in general. It got me thinking though: How do I like my men? Do I have a certain "type" that I gravitate toward? So I started thumbing through my mental files of boys, guys, and men that I've dated and/or had casual romantic encounters with. Really, the only consistent thing that catches my attention is that I dig Narcissists. Of course I have a physical type I'm attracted to: Tall, Dark and Handsome. (My newest Hearthrob certainly fits this description!) But personality-wise I'm pretty consistent as well. I really like guys who are totally self-absorbed. I think it's the confidence thing that accompanies that trait. Self-depricating humor is such a turn-off. I don't have energy to waste trying to feel sorry for someone or trying to make him feel better about himself. That just feels like manipulation, and I get enough of that from my Grandmother.

I went out a few times with a guy recently who was super nice, but he need so much assurance that I was having a nice time with him. He wouldn't take any liberties with me because he was so insecure about whether or not I wanted to be there in the first place. I quickly got bored and frustrated, so I stopped returning his phone calls. I felt bad at first for blowing him off, but really, I didn't need to waste his time or mine.

Then there's this guy I work with. Who I know is really in to me. But he'll hardly look at me when he says "hello" and his attempts at asking me out have been painfully awkward. I'm not interested, and I'm happy to let him slip quietly and swiftly into the "Friend Zone" partly because I know he'll never have the guts to make a real move. We went to a baseball game together (I was able to decipher the fact that he was inviting me to do something) and I scored a date with another guy right in front of him, and he just stood by without a peep. Maybe I'm cruel, but he shouldn't let me walk all over him!

The guys that I really enjoy remembering - all totally self-absorbed. What can I say, Narcisism is hot!

I know it's a cliche that girls only like jerks and "nice guys finish last." I admit, I fit that stereotype. I like strong men who don't ask permission - they think they're entitled, so they go after what they want. The problem is that they are so in love with themselves they can hardly recognize how fabulous I am, then they get bored and stop calling me. It's a vicious cycle, but I'm interested in getting out of it anytime soon. It's the viciousness that keeps things interesting. Maybe when I'm actually ready to settle down, the self-absorbed assholes won't seem so appealing. Until then, I'll be a cliche.