Letting Go or The Strange Path to Peace and Happiness

Some interesting developments in the last couple weeks. I'm constantly amazed at how loss can lead to finding new and wonderful things that I never would have found otherwise.

About two weeks I had the rug pulled out from under me. I had been operating under a misconception for quite a while and upon learning just how wrong I was, I was (needless to say) disappointed. Not just disappointed, but deeply hurt. I felt mislead, manipulated, betrayed, etc by someone I trusted. My immediate reaction was to feel sorry for myself and feel foolish. After about 20 minutes of that (while shopping) I decided what I really needed was a night out with one of my girl friends so we could rant and rave about our favorite/least favorite members of the opposite sex. This friend and I have a certain proclivity for getting into trouble - not trouble in a bad way, but in a "you-never-know-what-will-happen" way. So we got dolled up and hit the town. This funny thing happened to me. I'm usually very aloof at bars. I have a hard time meeting guys because I don't want to mislead or give a wrong impression about the kind of woman I am. I threw all that out the window, talked to almost every guy who caught my eye, danced, took compliments, flirted and just had fun. It felt good. Then a really funny thing happened. I met someone. Someone interesting and smart. I did the unprecedented thing of giving him my real phone number. And he called me. We went out to dinner (twice now). And he's still calling me. I'm not sure why I'm so surprised by it, but he actually wants to spend time with me. I don't even have to beg.

So I'm learning, yet again, that major disappointment can put me in the right place after all. If I hadn't gone out that night with the intention of making some trouble, I probably wouldn't have met anyone. I'm not saying this guy is "the one" or anything crazy like that. But I'm being reminded that I'm someone worth taking out, investing time in, being with.

Oh, yeah, I painted my apartment, bought a dining room table and chairs, found a futon/couch, and am getting settled into MY apartment (before and after pics to be posted soon as promised). I'm in a really good place. This time, I can actually enjoy it, I don't have anything left to let me down.