Crazy As Me?

I recently started seeing a guy who has really taken me by surprise over the last few days. He's a friend of a friend and we met several months ago. We went on our first "date" just before the Las Vegas Marathon. It was likely the best first date ever. We discovered many similar interests; we read the same books, enjoy the same films, cook the same foods, share a love of languages, have severely itchy feet, and the conversation never lulled. While I enjoyed his company, I wasn't especially attracted to him. He's not the tall, dark and handsome type toward which I usually gravitate. I agreed to a second date, because there wasn't any real reason not to, besides, I rarely find men who hold my interest for an entire evening. So now I've seen him a few times, and it just feels easy, good. Not just because he has nice manners and follows the typical rules of dating, but more because I don't have to try to come up with things to talk about, or try to modify my normal behavior to fulfill some expectation I think he might have.

Perhaps it's precisely BECAUSE I'm not especially attracted to him, physically, that it's easy to just be myself? At first, I didn't care what he thought about me, so I felt free to say what was on my mind and talk about my experiences, honestly; no candy coating, no elaborations. I had no reason to try and impress him. I certainly wasn't nervous. Also, I think it really makes a difference that we had initially gotten to know each other in casual group settings among mutual friends.

The surprising thing is he really wants to do things with me. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised, I AM really fun. The other day he started talking about touring South America for a couple months, with me as a traveling companion. I was a bit taken aback. You know by now that I love traveling, and I especially enjoy South America. So to find a potential traveling buddy is really exciting. My first reaction was "let's buy tickets tomorrow!" A couple days later, I feel compelled to slam on the brakes and retract my initial enthusiastic agreement to such a plan. While the idea thrills me, it's hard for me to trust this guy enough to actually believe that he wants to follow through on this. I really don't want to get too excited about all this until I know he's earnest in his intentions with me. He has mentioned it a couple times since, so I know it wasn't just a drunken, "hey let's do something crazy" idea that no one would actually discuss when sober.

Then the other day, I said, "if we don't make it to South America this year, how about a backpacking trip to the Grand Canyon?" He replied with an enthusiastic "yes!" I made reservations with the Park yesterday. It's really fun finding someone who wants to be with me, even if it involves traveling. And I figure if this doesn't work out or go anywhere, I still have a camping reservation far enough in advance to find a replacement travel companion.

Also, he wants to start running with me, and go to Museums, bookstores, coffee shops, play Scrabble. It feels strange. Even stranger still, I'm not freaking out about the fact that he wants to spend a lot of time with me. Previously, two phone calls in three days was reason to believe "he" was getting too attached too quickly. And seeing the same guy twice in one week was almost unthinkable. However, I did go out last night, see some old friends, and it felt good to reassert the fact, to myself, that I certainly have a life of my own. When I got home, he came over to watch a movie, and I didn't mind at all. When he left, I was ready for him to go.

The other surprise has been that he isn't trying to get into my pants right off the bat. I'm so used to being the "wait" person in my dating relationships. When I asked him if he wanted to come up to my apartment for a little while after a date and he said, "okay, but can we wait on the sex stuff?" I was surprised that he believed that was my intention as much as I was surprised that he wasn't already hot on my tail.

Could it actually be possible that I found someone who is as crazy as I am? Someone worth keeping around for longer than a few weeks? Someone who wants to invest time in me? I'm not convinced yet. But I do know when he says "I'll call you tomorrow," he's not lying, and it doesn't make me cringe, pant for oxygen, or feel like the walls are closing in on me. That's a start.