When It Rains, It Pours

Sometimes life has a way of snowballing you. It's been slowly building over the last week or so, and hit full-force today.

To say that I feel overwhelmed is a laughable understatement. I have at least 30 different projects going on at work with impossible deadlines, no free hands to help me, and an office manager who likes to hover over my shoulder and eavesdrop on every conversation, professional and personal, then provide insight as to how I should respond to overheard conversations, apparaently as a means of helping me "manage my workload."

Also, I've recently been volunteering with an excellent local nonprofit. I'm super excited about all we're doing, the mission, and upcoming events. However, like in all organizations, the majority of the work ends up going to the people who 1) show up for meetings and 2) act enthusiastically. I'm guilty on both counts and now have enough work to do to fill 8-10 hours a week, conservatively.

Then there is the economic issue. While I received a nice paycheck boost this summer, but have yet to experience any real ease in my budget from the change. It seems to me that the banking industry should be convicted of highway robbery. They have unlimited access to my meager funds and freely (and seemingly arbitrarily) extract exorbitant fees without warning.

It's not just feeling overwhelmed by having too many things to do or too many external pressures, it's also that I've been constantly reminded, excruciatingly reminded, that I am not doing what I want to be doing with my life, career-wise. As much as I complain about my job, my reaction time is getting better to this sense of entrapment. I recognize my frustration with my job and immediately do something to try and change my situation. I strongly believe that my life is a culmination of the choices I make for myself. Often the choice NOT to do something is more significant than any conscious choice I make for action. So this week I've completed a graduate school application (waiting on transcripts and letters of recommendation to submit), applied for a part-time teaching position at a local college, and made further progress on my ODC packet for the Army. My life/job will never change if I don't do something today to change it. If I sit and wait for it to change for me, in five years I'll be exactly where I am today.