The Path I Do Not Choose

I think everyone experiences that sense of loss for a certain something that "got away." Whether a person, a relationship, an opportunity, some choice we made along the excluded another possibility. That's life, right? Making the best choice at the time and moving forward in that direction.

This is a challenging concept for me. I love options and possibilities. I hate that often choosing one thing completely eliminates all other alternatives. I am quite good at adapting to and rising above my circumstances. Of course, I feel trapped at times, but I cope well and make the best of my situation, an eternal optimist. I don't easily give up on those alternatives that may no longer be available to me though. I continue to believe that everything I want is just within my reach.

The downside of this is that I can neglect the good things I already have because I'm so distracted working for the next best opportunity or pursuing yet another possibility. I get lost in all the many possibilities that I rarely complete one task to the best of my ability.

As I'm growing up I'm learning that this flaw has some dangerous consequences. Instead of focusing on the task at hand and powering through my instinct to weigh every option, I let things drift by the wayside until the last second, then I end up paying some penalty for my indecision or inaction. I procrastinate because I'm always waiting for something better to come along. Then I get stuck with a sub-par outcome because either my chance for something is gone or the circumstances have changed and I get stuck with just the left-overs.

One thing I would really like to see myself do is to take control of my situation, pursue things I really want. First, I guess, that requires that I DECIDE what it is I really want. I am beginning to understand that sometimes NOT making a decision is worse than making a bad one.