I have resolved thus (though the job search continues), to be find something that I really enjoy about my current situation, and any situation I find myself in. For example, right now, I am graduate student. I've been in school for what feels like forever. Though I shouldn't really complain because their are Doctoral candidates in my department who have been around since I was in middle school, and I'm only a Masters student. But I've been in school for a long time. I've developed "senioritis" of sorts, because I'm graduating this May, but I'm not a Senior, and I'm just so ready to be done with papers and text books and exams working late into the night, and throughout the weekend. I want an 8-5 where I get up, meet a foreign dignatary, head into the hills, hike until dusk, and have serious, interesting conversations, then meet a car, go home, and get up the next morning, fly to another country and do it again. Even if that's just a pipe dream, I really would like to have an 8-5 working in a high-energy environment on something that I think is important.
I saw a funny little cartoon on a friend's refridgerator that depicts a middle-age man interviewing for a job. The caption says something along the lines of "I want a position where I can slowly lose sight of what I originally set out to do, with benefits." Cute. I hope I never get there. I want to always have a future goal and a vision for where I'm heading, and a good memory for where I've been and what I wanted to accomplish.
That doesn't have to start when I enter the "real world" though. I think I can start developing that mindset now. It's just difficult without a clear view on how the career world really works. It's not that I've never had a job. I've worked since I was 17. I've just never had a "real" job, a career, with a salary. But maybe I'm thinking about it all wrong. I don't have to be in a career to start doing what I want to do. So what if I can't mix and mingle with political pundits. I can be learning and preparing myself now for when I do. I can be forming my ideas and opinions, and learning the basis for why I think the way I do. Am I just realizing the point of a college education? Maybe I haven't been in school long enough!
Anyway, the point is that I am discovering those things that I love about what am doing right now. I really love being a teaching assistant. I have my classes where I can talk about practically anything I want for 50 minutes, four days a week. I enjoy the students, getting to know them, hearing their opinions, discussing issues, and explaining ideas. I enjoy the other grad students. I know of few other work environments where I am surrounded by people who are so interested in learning, and about learning something that I too am interested in. While we may have our disagreements, we respect each other's opinions, because we respect each other and our research. I love that I am surrounded by people who are still very much idealists, and yet, are grounded in what they understand and expect from the world and from other people. I love going to a class where the topic is so interesting and we have all read the same material and can offer insights into its meaining and application. So, this Spring, I am determined to forget the fact that I am ready for change, and just be passionate about this opportunity I have to learn and to teach.
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