Monday, January 30, 2006

Finding Passion for What I Do

It's a common idea that you're supposed to do what you're passionate about. I also think it's pretty common to be passionate about lots of things that could never fit into one job description. If I could make up my own job, I would travel around the world talking to people about important social issues and determining the best solutions while white water rafting, and climbing mountains, and then write books about it. Of course, I would be leading these expeditions into the wilderness, and I wouldn't have to pay for any of it, but I would like a salary, and health benefits. I've been looking for an opening doing this, but I just haven't had any luck. Can you believe, no offers for a "gum-shoe political theorist to lead outdoor excursions with major world leaders?"

I have resolved thus (though the job search continues), to be find something that I really enjoy about my current situation, and any situation I find myself in. For example, right now, I am graduate student. I've been in school for what feels like forever. Though I shouldn't really complain because their are Doctoral candidates in my department who have been around since I was in middle school, and I'm only a Masters student. But I've been in school for a long time. I've developed "senioritis" of sorts, because I'm graduating this May, but I'm not a Senior, and I'm just so ready to be done with papers and text books and exams working late into the night, and throughout the weekend. I want an 8-5 where I get up, meet a foreign dignatary, head into the hills, hike until dusk, and have serious, interesting conversations, then meet a car, go home, and get up the next morning, fly to another country and do it again. Even if that's just a pipe dream, I really would like to have an 8-5 working in a high-energy environment on something that I think is important.

I saw a funny little cartoon on a friend's refridgerator that depicts a middle-age man interviewing for a job. The caption says something along the lines of "I want a position where I can slowly lose sight of what I originally set out to do, with benefits." Cute. I hope I never get there. I want to always have a future goal and a vision for where I'm heading, and a good memory for where I've been and what I wanted to accomplish.

That doesn't have to start when I enter the "real world" though. I think I can start developing that mindset now. It's just difficult without a clear view on how the career world really works. It's not that I've never had a job. I've worked since I was 17. I've just never had a "real" job, a career, with a salary. But maybe I'm thinking about it all wrong. I don't have to be in a career to start doing what I want to do. So what if I can't mix and mingle with political pundits. I can be learning and preparing myself now for when I do. I can be forming my ideas and opinions, and learning the basis for why I think the way I do. Am I just realizing the point of a college education? Maybe I haven't been in school long enough!

Anyway, the point is that I am discovering those things that I love about what am doing right now. I really love being a teaching assistant. I have my classes where I can talk about practically anything I want for 50 minutes, four days a week. I enjoy the students, getting to know them, hearing their opinions, discussing issues, and explaining ideas. I enjoy the other grad students. I know of few other work environments where I am surrounded by people who are so interested in learning, and about learning something that I too am interested in. While we may have our disagreements, we respect each other's opinions, because we respect each other and our research. I love that I am surrounded by people who are still very much idealists, and yet, are grounded in what they understand and expect from the world and from other people. I love going to a class where the topic is so interesting and we have all read the same material and can offer insights into its meaining and application. So, this Spring, I am determined to forget the fact that I am ready for change, and just be passionate about this opportunity I have to learn and to teach.

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