Back to Life

After two weeks in the US Army parallel training universe, it's a shock to be back at work and back to normal, daily life. It almost makes it seem unreal; as if the whole ordeal was just a long dream. Some may say nightmare, but I actually had a really good time. I think that makes it even harder to cope with the daily grind. Anytime I come out of a training cycle with the Army, it takes me a few days to process, decompress, and readjust. I'm such an extrovert, a people-person, that spending a night in my apartment alone, with just my kitty cat, feels lonely, quiet, uncomfortable. I never have a hard time sleeping, but when I woke up at quarter to 5 this morning (an hour and a half before my alarm clock is set), and I wasn't in my barracks room with two roommates, or in a Korean-Army style tent with 17 other women, I struggled to remember where I was.

Walking into work this morning was no less of a shock. The instant I open those heavy wooden doors, the can already feel the tension headache coming on. I immediately regain my defensive posture, and head silently to my desk, sure not to make eye contact with anyone, ignoring all "welcome back" greetings along the way.

The last two days of training, I couldn't wait to get home. Now that I'm home, I'm already thinking about the next time I can be back in training, back in full-time Army mode.

Maybe it's not simply a case of Grass-is-always-greener-on-the-other-side-itis. Maybe I really thrive in a military environment, and a training environment in particular. I love the constant stimulation, the rush of multiple tasks to be accomplished in a short amount of time, the sense of being part of something more important than myself alone, the feeling that I am really good at being in the Army. It seems to suit me. I find it exciting. It's exhausting, yes, but I've never been one to shy away from being busy. One of my fellow students during the course commented that I seem like the type of person who embraces a challenge - I like being that type of person. I strive to incorporate that into my personal life, in the Army there are more challenges to embrace.

On the last day of training, the instructors recommended me for an instructor position at the academy. All I need to do is complete the paperwork for the transfer from my unit and I'm in.

There are a lot of important relationships in Denver that would be distupted if I take a full-time Army instructor job. Mostly I'm concerned about my work with the AIR Foundation. I can't very well continue to develop their program in Denver from Seattle. Nor would I have any time to work on expanding the program to Washington. I've made a commitment to AIR through October, and if it doesn't pan out into a full-time paid position by then, I'll have to seriously consider this other option.

Jim's perfectly willing to move; he can find work anywhere. I'm blessed to be with someone who is committed to supporting me in pursuing my own career at this point.

There's a lot to consider. I'm really proud of myself for what I accomplished in the last two weeks. I may not have walked away with a chest full of medals, but I worked hard and learned a lot. I have big plans for my unit here in Denver. I'm determined that no soldier from my unit will go to WLC unprepared. That at least will be good practice in case I do end up at the academy next fall.

I'm getting the feeling that 2010 is going to kick off the next decade in a big way for me.