The Dumbing Down of Love

Sometimes love underwhelms me; more often than it overwhelms me. I would really like to be pleasantly surprised by love and the people who love me. It doesn't happen nearly often enough. Underwhelm is an understatement. Disappoint is more appropriate. I give and I give and I work so hard and invest so much into people and time after time I am let down. Perhaps I am just a romantic about my relationships. I expect and hope that they will last forever. Then I feel foolish just a few months later for putting so much effort into it. It makes me not want to even be involved with people anymore. It's not a very profitable investment. Not that every relationship I develop is for the purpose of gaining something. But really, isn't that what the point of relationships are in the first place; some mutual benefit? I try to pour into people and I feel like I give so much and all I feel like nobody even recognizes that I care about them. I have a friend that I have maintained a relationship with for over 8 years. Just a few weeks ago he made the comment that he had no idea that I cared about him until a couple months ago. What's wrong with this? Is it my inability to communicate that I love someone? Probably. I'm not shy, but I am modest about my emotions. I don't like being exposed. I have to be very comfortable with someone and build a long history of trust before I can directly tell them that I love them.