Playing the Field

Let me preface this by saying that as a Christian I am truly interested in treating all men with respect, kindness, and in a way that acknowledges the fact that they are created in the image of God and have an eternal soul and a vulnerable heart. Now, I'm going to reveal the selfishness of my natural state that usually takes over when I deal with men.

I need an offensive coordinator for my love-life. Someone to needs teach me to read the defense and know when to use a screen pass to gain a few yards or throw a hail mary for the end-zone.

My entire adolescent and adult love life has consisted of two different situations: 1)trying to figure out how to make a specific guy like me, and getting/keeping his attention without making him think I'm going to sleep with him; and 2)trying to make a specific guy that I'm not interested in know that I'm not interested without being hurtful or unkind. Right now I'm experiencing both situations, but the first one to a greater degree than the second. First, the guy I really like isn't interested in me beyond the fact that I'm a girl and he just really likes girls in general. Why can't I just forget about this guy and find someone who does appreciate me? I'm trying. So, that leads into situation two. There are about three other guys who have expressed interest in me. Do I continue to indicate interest in the guy I really like knowing that it probably won't go anywhere? Or do I casually flirt with the others, knowing that they will "take the bait"? Maybe a simpler way to phrase the question is, do I go after what I really want, or do I settle for the obtainable? Easy answer, right? Go for what you really want. Now the tricky part for me is that with guys, I don't want to be the one "going after" someone. They should be the ones in pursuit. So what's the key? How do I get a particular guy to pursue me? How do I modestly suggest that I would be open to the chase? Is it even worth my time and energy? At this point in my life, probably not. I'm not looking to get married or even get into a serious relationship right now. I wouldn't even know what to do with this guy once I caught him anyway. I think I just want to be wanted. If that's the case, any one of the interested fellows could satisfy that desire. But that's not fair to them. This puts me back into my pattern of self-imposed singledom seasoned with casual flirting and the intrigue of "what-if" with any attractive male friend.