Waiting

I've only seen part of the movie "Waiting," and I really didn't like it. Actually, I was so disgusted that I intentionally avoided watching it even though it was showing in the same room. Now that I'm working in a restaurant again, I think I get it a little better. Fortunately we don't have quite the stereotypes as portrayed in the film, but there are a few I'd like to add. You'll have to forgive any duplications, because, like I said I tried really hard not to watch it.

Angry guy: Guy who complains about everything. If he doesn't get a table quick enough, he's mad. If he gets a table too quickly, he gets mad. If he has too few people at a table, he complains. If he has too many people at a table, he complains. If the food comes out too quick, he's mad. If it comes out too slow, he's mad. If the cute hostess doesn't talk to him, he's mad. . .yea, I don't think he gets mad if she talks to him too much, but that has yet too happen (since he's always mad, no one likes talking to him). If he gets too many shifts in a week, he's mad. If he doesn't get enough shifts in a week, he's mad. I've even seen him be mad at a table for ordering too much food, and mad at a table for not ordering enough food. You get the point. And since servers drink A LOT together, he's a pretty angry drunk.

Future restaurant manager girl: This is the girl who has been working at the same restaurant in the same position since the doors opened on day one. She's the one that no one really likes except the managers. She's really sweet to everyone, but never in sincerity. She definitely knows how to play the game, and you can imagine her as Kristy Allie's character in Drop Dead Gorgeous where she would kill anyone who got in her way all while wearing an evening gown, heels, tiara, and vaseline on her smiling lips.

Anarchist guy: this guy uses the F-word to describe literally everything. He hates f-ing laws, despises f-ing politicians as corrupt f-ing pigs, talks about the f-ing military-industrial complex as if it was f-ing mold in his own f-ing basement, curses pop f-ing culture and refuses to bathe regularly or wear deoderant.

Invisible guy: He always has his shifts picked up. Never works. I don't know if anyone has actually met him other than the gut who hired him three years ago and moved into regional management status soon after. . .for some reason I don't think that's a coincidence.

Kelis (ie. Bossy): This chick knows it all and will tell you exactly what you are doing wrong and how to do it right. From putting beverage napkins on the table with the restaurant logo FACING the guest at a right angle, to drizzling caramel sauce on two 3 3/4 inch scoops of ice cream in a back and forth motion starting at the right corner of the plate, this girl will tell you how to do it all.

Stressed out guy: Any sign of busy-ness attacks this guy with serious anxiety. His motto is "be like a duck, remain calm on the surface but paddle like hell under water." At a table he is the picture of poise and serenity, in the back he's dragging on his inhaler, mopping sweat from his face and dashing from appetizer line to entree line like he's running sprints at football practice.

Drunk guy: He's always drunk or getting drunk. He comes into work drunk so as not to feel the hangover from the night before and saunters over to the restaurant next door to take shots between tables.

While I'm waiting for the State Department to call, I might as well enjoy my time waiting tables. It's a good time. Stick around to learn more about the characters in my restaurant.