Thanks for Reading

I received an e-mail today about this blog from someone I respect. I was rather surprised to hear from him, but his message came through loud and clear: "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize how much you have!" I wanted to post a few excerpts from his e-mail because it was exactly what I needed to hear. Of course I appreciate the affirmation, but coming from someone like him, it really means a lot.

"Not to sound mean, but huh? I got to be honest with you. Why the hell are you feeling sorry for yourself? Tough time (with your) job? Perhaps because you are over qualified for most, if not all?"

"What is the case with this "trying to find someone?" Have you noticed guys are a little intimidated around you? Why do you think? Smart and beautiful? You think guys might be kind of scared about making the first move? I would pretty much guarantee it. That is what guys are scared of right off the bat. You need to be the one who starts things off....at least most of the time."

I think it is time I changed my tune. I usually write when I'm feeling down on myself, but that's become too frequent. I waste a lot of energy with "oh woe is me," garbage and I need to spend more time enjoying and appreciating what I have. It's funny, I've been listening to the new Portishead album a lot lately, and just yesterday I noticed that almost EVERY song is self-pitying. It irritated me - and that's what I've been doing here.

I've mentioned recently how I'm trying to take more risks, be more bold, specifically in regards to interaction with men. Honestly, it's been about finding ways to get more attention. I think what I really need to focus on is using my new found confidence to figure out what I want, and how I can get what I want - making me happy rather than trying to figure out how to make someone else happy with me.
I've wasted too much time and energy attempting to make certain people think and feel certain things about me, while I should have been more assertive about who I am.

So I'm trying to focus on the positive things in my life, get over myself, stop creating my own melodrama and just enjoy life a little bit.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for the feedback. I need that voice of reason to speak out among all the craziness in my head!