Last night I watched one episode of the new PBS series, National Parks: America's Best Idea. I was once again grasped by the realization that there is too much world to see, even here in the US, to stay in one place for very long. I've been dying to take a vacation, even a week-long, in-country trip to somewhere new. I have a whole list of places I've never been. Ideally, I'd really like to take about 4-5 months to travel.
In 1 year and 4 months I will have paid off all my debt other than my car and my student loans. At that point, I would only need to set aside about $2500 + basic living expenses in order to take 5 months off to travel. I think with my car, tent, backpack, and shoes, I could easily see a lot of the country with a minimal budget. Over the last few years, I've really wanted to hike all or part of the AT. I've planned numerous backpacking trips all over the Southwest that I've never had an opportunity to take. My boss keeps telling me that he's planning to retire in a year. Perhaps by then, I'll be ready to take some time off before job-hunting again.
I don't really want to just travel for the sake of traveling though. I think I'd like to design a service-oriented trip. I could find volunteer organizations in every state I want to visit and spend time working for them while I'm there. Maybe even just clean up trash in one of the National Parks I want to see; something to give my trip greater purpose than just sight seeing. Probably just one of my grand ideas that I'll hardly see to fruition, but I'd like to see what I can put together. If you have any good ideas for places to visit and volunteer, let me know. Maybe I can at least start mapping a route and thinking through the logistics.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The Big 2-8
I turned 28 yesterday. While all my friends, family members, co-workers, etc. assured me that 28 is NOT old, I can't help but feel like it IS. It doesn't help that I hurt my back carrying boxes while moving a few weeks ago and now I'm on a strict 6-hour alternating regiment of 600mg of Ibuprofen and Muscle Relaxers to make the muscles begin to un-injure themselves. Next year I'll be complaining that my hip replacement surgery has been delayed because of the damn communists in congress, dying my hair blue, and predicting the weather by the swelling in my arthritic knee.
Regardless of whether 28 is old or not old, it's been a scary age for me for quite some time now. I remember distinctly thinking as a freshman at Florida State that if I didn't have my life figured out by the time I turned 28 I was going to get breast implants, move to South America, and join a political revolution.
So as the Deadline Birthday approached, and then passed, I couldn't help but consider whether I've done all the things I could have/should have done to get me where I thought I wanted to be. Have I really put forth a good effort to make something of my life? Have I sincerely pursued the opportunities presented to me with diligence and passion? Even though I'm in a fairly good place right now, the answer to those questions is still a resounding "no" in my mind. I think about the times I've lied to or made excuses for myself instead of actually working toward my goals. I've blamed government, bureaucracy, my upbringing, my circumstances, God, everything to try and relieve myself of the burden of responsibility for my own actions. I recognize that when I get overwhelmed, I become easily paralyzed. But instead of recognizing that, and then actually taking steps to de-paralyze myself, I slip into this rebellious indifference and create a careless and sometimes spiteful attitude toward whatever obstacle I'm facing.
I think what it really comes down to is a lack of self-discipline. I believe I could be disciplined if I actually wanted to be. For example, I have plenty of time in the mornings to get up and run before work. I think I've done that once since I started working here two years ago. And it's not like I don't thoroughly ENJOY exercising, it's just that I like to sleep, and staying in bed is so much easier than getting out of it until the last possible minute. It's not just about exercising either. I often start projects, like job applications, or my ODC packet for the Army, or a grant application, etc. that I very rarely finish. These are all important to me, but somewhere along the way I lose interest and let it fall to the wayside. I really don't want my life to amount to a series of unfinished projects and unaccomplished goals.
So what's the solution? I need to get away from the mindset that once "X" happens, I'll be able to really start doing what I want with my life. I need to really make the effort to make "X" happen instead and stop making excuses for why it hasn't yet. Maybe the problem is that I don't really know what "X" is. I guess I don't know what I really want anymore.
Until I figure it out, I've tabled the breast implants idea and opted for a consultation with an orthodontist and a LASIK surgeon. Those seem like less self-indulgent vanity procedures. I think Brazil will have to take a back seat to the Middle East for a while, and the political revolution that needs to happen is here in America. So I guess I'll be here for a while longer. At least it's a good place to be stuck.
Regardless of whether 28 is old or not old, it's been a scary age for me for quite some time now. I remember distinctly thinking as a freshman at Florida State that if I didn't have my life figured out by the time I turned 28 I was going to get breast implants, move to South America, and join a political revolution.
So as the Deadline Birthday approached, and then passed, I couldn't help but consider whether I've done all the things I could have/should have done to get me where I thought I wanted to be. Have I really put forth a good effort to make something of my life? Have I sincerely pursued the opportunities presented to me with diligence and passion? Even though I'm in a fairly good place right now, the answer to those questions is still a resounding "no" in my mind. I think about the times I've lied to or made excuses for myself instead of actually working toward my goals. I've blamed government, bureaucracy, my upbringing, my circumstances, God, everything to try and relieve myself of the burden of responsibility for my own actions. I recognize that when I get overwhelmed, I become easily paralyzed. But instead of recognizing that, and then actually taking steps to de-paralyze myself, I slip into this rebellious indifference and create a careless and sometimes spiteful attitude toward whatever obstacle I'm facing.
I think what it really comes down to is a lack of self-discipline. I believe I could be disciplined if I actually wanted to be. For example, I have plenty of time in the mornings to get up and run before work. I think I've done that once since I started working here two years ago. And it's not like I don't thoroughly ENJOY exercising, it's just that I like to sleep, and staying in bed is so much easier than getting out of it until the last possible minute. It's not just about exercising either. I often start projects, like job applications, or my ODC packet for the Army, or a grant application, etc. that I very rarely finish. These are all important to me, but somewhere along the way I lose interest and let it fall to the wayside. I really don't want my life to amount to a series of unfinished projects and unaccomplished goals.
So what's the solution? I need to get away from the mindset that once "X" happens, I'll be able to really start doing what I want with my life. I need to really make the effort to make "X" happen instead and stop making excuses for why it hasn't yet. Maybe the problem is that I don't really know what "X" is. I guess I don't know what I really want anymore.
Until I figure it out, I've tabled the breast implants idea and opted for a consultation with an orthodontist and a LASIK surgeon. Those seem like less self-indulgent vanity procedures. I think Brazil will have to take a back seat to the Middle East for a while, and the political revolution that needs to happen is here in America. So I guess I'll be here for a while longer. At least it's a good place to be stuck.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
The Septemberist
September is going to be a very busy month for me.
On Saturday, I'm making a quick trip to Orlando to see my oldest friend get hitched - by oldest I mean we've been friends since we were four. I'm coming back to Denver on Sunday so I can run a race on Labor Day morning and avoid the overpriced holiday flights and hotels in the tourist capital of the country. Unfortunately this also prevents me from spending another weekend in Nebraska. Nebraska and I are on a break.
Next Saturday is THE BIG RACE. The Imogene Pass Run is the one I've been anticipating since June. It's certain to be my toughest event yet. Seventeen miles, 5,000 feet of elevation gain, gravel road, a grueling time limit, and stunning views in every direction. Needless to say I'm nervous and concerned that my training to date will fall painfully short. I'm determined to finish the race in the time allotted. If I don't though, it'll be more than my bruised ego to nurse and the resolution to try again next year.
The following Wednesday I leave for Fort Lewis near Seattle, WA to spend five days helping to ensure that our troops are deployment-ready. I hope to catch a good live show while I'm there and spend some hours charging the famous hills jutting up from the coast.
The Wednesday after that is my birthday.
That Friday I leave for Kansas City to celebrate the last of Whitney's bachlorettehood with a kick-ass party. I'm in charge of games - sex position balderdash anyone?
When the month finally winds down, the Denver Marathon will be right around the corner; and honestly the simplicity of race training will be a welcome repose from my hectic September schedule.
So if you're in Denver some weekend this month, I might catch you at the airport.
On Saturday, I'm making a quick trip to Orlando to see my oldest friend get hitched - by oldest I mean we've been friends since we were four. I'm coming back to Denver on Sunday so I can run a race on Labor Day morning and avoid the overpriced holiday flights and hotels in the tourist capital of the country. Unfortunately this also prevents me from spending another weekend in Nebraska. Nebraska and I are on a break.
Next Saturday is THE BIG RACE. The Imogene Pass Run is the one I've been anticipating since June. It's certain to be my toughest event yet. Seventeen miles, 5,000 feet of elevation gain, gravel road, a grueling time limit, and stunning views in every direction. Needless to say I'm nervous and concerned that my training to date will fall painfully short. I'm determined to finish the race in the time allotted. If I don't though, it'll be more than my bruised ego to nurse and the resolution to try again next year.
The following Wednesday I leave for Fort Lewis near Seattle, WA to spend five days helping to ensure that our troops are deployment-ready. I hope to catch a good live show while I'm there and spend some hours charging the famous hills jutting up from the coast.
The Wednesday after that is my birthday.
That Friday I leave for Kansas City to celebrate the last of Whitney's bachlorettehood with a kick-ass party. I'm in charge of games - sex position balderdash anyone?
When the month finally winds down, the Denver Marathon will be right around the corner; and honestly the simplicity of race training will be a welcome repose from my hectic September schedule.
So if you're in Denver some weekend this month, I might catch you at the airport.
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