Attitude Adjustment

I can't say that the last few months have gone exactly as I had hoped. It's become easy for me to waste time feeling sorry for myself. I've always thought of myself as a positive person with the ability to push through disappointment with a smile on my face. Lately this quality has been put to the test.

My favorite movie growing up was The Princess Bride. In the midst of a sword fight, "Dread Pirate Roberts" tells Inigo Montoya to "get used to disappointment." I don't think I ever recognized the tragedy in this statement until recently.

I hate the fact that I'm beginning to accept disappointment as a way of life. Perhaps it sounds naive, but I have always sustained the belief that things work out for good. I know God is sovereign and until lately I've little trouble believing that He has my best interests in mind. Maybe I've had doubts at times, but never have I been so thoroughly frustrated for an extended period of time.

It's time for an attitude adjustment.

Over the last few weeks I've been thinking about how I use my resources and the opportunities I have to leverage eternal outcomes. The pastor at the church I've been attending has been talking about money management and stewardship lately. I am most often inclined to be quite selfish with how I use my time, money and energy. One idea that has stuck with me is that the only way to overcome greed is to put someone else's needs above my own. I think this is true with any other kind of selfishness. My self-pity and absorption with my disappointment can only be overcome by putting other people's needs before my own. I've often read that the best way to beat depression is to help someone else. It's common to compare oneself to all the people in better circumstances, but I never compare myself to someone who's worse-off. So I'm committing my time and resources to improving others' situations.

Am I ignoring my problems? Maybe. Maybe I'm just coping. I do know that I'm not willing to "get used to disappointment." I have to trust that God is sovereign and that in spite of things not going the way I planned, I am still on an incredible adventure that will end in "Happily Ever After."